Settling Down

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More than a month in. Still alive!

Melbourne isn’t kind to me, though. I’m starting to think it hates me. It’s really cold. And this is supposed to be Spring. It feels a hell lot like Winter. I hate cold. I really, really hate cold. On the upside, it gets warm on *some* weekends so I can get out and take a walk.

Ah, Melbourne. I’ve finished my move and now I’m in a new apartment. Right smack in the middle of the city. Way up the 24th floor. I kinda miss my old apartment, though. It’s on the outer fringes of the city centre but I liked the walk to and fro. Plus the trees. I love the tree-lined sidewalk of Kavanagh. But make no mistake my current apartment is perfect.

Melbourne’s weird and I love it. It’s interesting. I feel like there’s a lot of things to explore and I don’t know where to begin. Like every turn in every corner is a surprise. Sometimes I just go out and take a walk and I would return fascinated by how different it is. It’s modern and old and organised and chaotic – depending on where in the city you are but sometimes altogether in one place.

I’m going to be here for a few more months and I’m going to soak it all up – cold winds, hot sun, awesome coffee, and everything in between! It’s going to be awesome. 🙂

P.S. – I haven’t seen any kangaroo roaming around yet. Are my expectations wrong? (^_^)v

Restart

Fast forward to 2 years later and I’m in the Land Down Under. It’s spring. It’s time to wake up from the slumber and start again 🙂

You and I

Let’s talk.
Let’s talk about you, about me, about us.
We.
Us.

Let’s talk about tomorrow.
What we’ll do, together.
What we’ll do apart but rather do together.
The future, you and I.

Let’s laugh.
Let’s laugh about trivial things.

Let’s get crazy.

Let’s cry.
About sappy movies and corny lines.
About broken hearts and unfulfilled promises, let’s cry.

Let’s sit down.
Let’s cuddle, be silent, be warm.

Let’s walk.
Let’s hold hands when we walk.

Let’s dance.
In the rain, to the beat of every drop, let’s dance.

Let’s care.
For each other and less about the world, let’s care.

Let’s be together, you and I.

Let me hold you.
Let me stay beside you.
Let me embrace you.
Let me love you.

Let me love you.

2012 So Far

It’s almost the end of the year, and I have been absent from my blog for such a long time.  I missed it.  So here I am.  One-up for November!

My sister finally graduated!  That’s one huge congratulations to her, and to me as well, I guess.  That means one less thing to think about and more shopping money for me.  College is expensive, mind you.  But it all paid off.  She passed the board exams in just one take so she’s now officially a Nurse.  Way to go!

Another good thing that came with 2012 is a reunion with my best friend.  I’ll be writing about that in a separate entry.  It was one huge reunion with the barkada and we all went to Palawan for 5 days.  No work, all play.  That was fun.  It was all our first time in Palawan and the province was great.  I also had my first scuba diving experience! ^_^ Nothing like a good long vacation to re-fuel you and get you ready for the long haul.  And to be with your bestfriend!  She was only here for a short while, and now she’s back in the US. 😦

Work.  Oh work!  Partly the reason I’ve been away from my blog was good ol’ work!  To say I’ve been busy would be a severe understatement.  Well, to be fair, it started out fine.  Like all projects do, it started out smoothly until the day when everything had to be delivered.  That’s when everything went crazy.  Imagine, on the day when the outputs where supposed to be given to the clients, there were change in requirements!  Fucked-up process with F-ing clients.  Sucked big time.  We had to give up weekends and holidays!  Weekends and Holidays!  Going to work when everyone else enjoy being with their family and friends and watching movies and writing blogs.  That’s how busy I’ve been.  Now I’m just exhausted.  But I only have to get through until the end of November and my participation with the projectn will be over.  Ganbare!

That’s about it, in a nutshell.

Lovelife is still 0.  I need to do something about that, but I’m not in a hurry.  I’d like to think I’m still young so there’s plenty of time for that. 😉

So now, since the world won’t seem to end this 2012 like the Mayans predicted, I have to come up with a new plan for 2013 onwards (damn it!).  And one of them is to keep this blog going.  It’s a bit refreshing to feel my fingers tapping on the keyboard and not seeing reports and source codes on the screen.  I really need to do this more often.

Until next time. Peace. (^_^)v

Achy-Breaky Heart

Once again I found myself within the confines of a hospital.  Waiting in line, staring at the white ceiling, waiting for my name to be called, bothered by the same problem that has plagued me months prior – chest pain.

I was told previously that it was costochondritis, a case of muscle pain.  Nothing serious.  I was just being paranoid.  I accepted that.  It was, after all, a cardiologist who examined me and told me the result.  So I went back to my normal life, trying to ignore the pain.

Months pass, and the aching gradually subsided.  However, a little over 2 months ago, just before the turn of the year, the pain originally emanating smack in the middle of my chest where my left and right rib cages met, transferred to the left side and stayed there.  The pain was now where my fragile heart is.  ‘It’s just muscle pain,’ I reminded myself.  Sleepless  nights ensued.  I dreaded evenings.  What if I don’t wake up?  What if I die in my sleep?  ‘It’s just muscle pain,’ I told myself again and again and again, trying to muffle the nagging notion that it could already be something else.  Something worse.

I finally decided to get another check-up two weeks ago, no longer able bear the thought of getting a cardiac arrest while walking in the middle of nowhere and dying on the spot.  I realized how much I loved life and equally dreaded death.

I told the doctor everything – how the previous check-up came up with nothing but muscle pain, how the aching was so suddenly isolated only to the left part of my chest and sometimes radiating to my left arm, how I stopped exercising because of a busy schedule, how I argued with a person from another department at work causing my blood pressure to rise for the very first time.  Everything.  No detail was left out.  Immediately after that I was told that there was ‘probably’ nothing wrong with me at all.  My hopes shot up instantaneously.  But the doctor did not want to take any chances so he recommended that I undergo a series of laboratory tests – chest X-ray, CBC, and ECG (once again).  My hopes slowly landed back to Earth with a soft thud.

It was a week later that I would get the results and have another check-up.  Well, I could’ve gotten the results earlier but the doctor wasn’t going to be available for another week because he travelled a lot, so I just waited until the doctor was available again before getting my results.  That way I won’t have to add to my stress by Google-ing the medical terms I find in the lab tests.

Moment of truth came in the form of a line, white ceiling, more waiting, and L’Aquilone du Estrellas (A Kite of Stars).  I learned my lesson so I brought a book with me this time.  While waiting, I travelled to the mystical world of Hinirang and witnessed the unrequited love of Isabella who tried to turn herself into a star, the valiant challenge of Rosang Taba who won a foot race against one of the most distinguished and arrogant Spanish official in the land, and Aponikalandao’s quest for a heart that she was not born with.  I was travelling through the Celibate Ocean with the Middle Prince when I was jolted back to reality.  I heard the doctor call my name so I had to postpone my search for the Coral Crone and find out, once and for all, what was really wrong with me.  I had my own adventure waiting for me.

Normal.  I’m normal.  My heart’s normal.

That was the general findings.  It sounded a little anti-climatic, but it was what it was.  It was what I wanted to hear.  Aside from the irregular heart beat that the ECG result showed, there was absolutely nothing wrong with me.  In my doctor’s words, ‘I am a hundred percent sure there is nothing wrong with your heart.  There’s no chance that you’ll suddenly collapse and die because of heart attack.’

Still, I insisted.  ‘What’s causing the pain, doc?,’ I asked.  There was no straight answer.  He recommended another test to check my alkalinity.  The sodium (Na) and potassium (K) test.  But the result was the same.

Normal.

At this point, the patient doctor referred me to another cardiologist.  His mentor, he said.  I was slightly embarrassed because I thought I starting to come across as too demanding, for the lack of words.  But I wanted to make sure.  Not that I didn’t believe him because I did.  I just wanted to be absolutely sure.

Normal.  For the nth time, Normal.

That’s the verdict of the 3rd cardiologist who looked at my case.  I was barely at his office for five minutes and he was sure that my heart was normal, basing on all the tests that were conducted, and the findings of his apprentice.  He told me I was too young to have heart problems.  He told me that I should enjoy being young and live my life.  Odd advice coming from a cardiologist who looked like a stern elementary school principal, but that’s really what he told me.  He also said that I should continue on taking the analgesic that his apprentice prescribed for a few more days to see if the muscle pain will completely disappear.

I conceded.  There was nothing left for me to doubt.  I thanked the good doctor before leaving and as I closed the door to his office, the pain materialized a few distances from myself, in a form that I would never associate with pain – a  woman of immaculate beauty draped in the finest of white silk.  She was smiling, a malicious glint in her emerald eyes.  Cupped in her delicate hands was a heart.  I stared at it as it beat in unison mine.  It was my heart.  Slowly, she raised the heart to her lips and kissed it just as pain emanated from my chest once more.  She kissed it again and again and again – pain, pain, pain.  Was she kissing the pain away, or was it the kiss that was causing my suffering?  My quest continues.

Say What?

Someone from the Samahan ng Magigiting ng Kongresista ng Pilipinas is complaining that the portrayal of their characters in mainstream Filipino movies as kontra-bidas (antagonists) taints their image as ‘honest’ public servants of the country.  Newsflash congressman, YOU DON’T NEED THE MOVIES TO DO THAT.  OK, maybe the constant depiction of a politician-slash-black-market-syndicate-leader-slash-drug-lord may have affected the mindset of some citizens but – that’s a big BUT – the credits go mostly to you and your corrupt buddies.  I mean, come on, it’s not like decades of pocketing peoples’ money has gone unnoticed.  In fact, movies are even kinder in a sense because they show you guys working hard for the money, although in an evil way.  Still, that’s better than just sitting around the Batasang Pambansa while your mansions are being constructed somewhere in Forbes Park or the Corinthians to the tune of gazillion taxpayers’ money.  I do not think the movies do more damage to you than your own actions.

The proposed bill is obviously and annoyingly self-serving.  And it has no benefit whatsoever to the welfare of the Filipinos.  What would you get from prohibiting the already dying movie industry from creating FICTIONAL characters that some plots require?  Nada.  You’re just proving to more and more people that you don’t deserve the position you hold because you can’t even come up with better laws to create.  If you really wanted to change the perception of people about you damned politicians, the answer is simple: do your effing jobs.  Stop acting like glorified leeches and start serving the people that put you in your positions in the first place.  And oh, some of you weren’t even voted for, so stop complaining.  But I digress.

There’s clearly a bigger problem here.  Instead of creating bills that would be beneficial to the population in general, what we get are propositions to change EDSA to Cory Aquino Avenue and recognize Waling-waling as the National Flower.  Really?  What next?  How about we replace the Carabao with the Tarsier as the National Animal?  That’s tourism, no?  Oooorrrr… let’s change the National Hero to Manny Pacquiao and make boxing the National Sport!  Sounds good, eh?  Losers.

In a country where actors, boxers, and singers can easily penetrate the political scene and gain a seat of power by heavily relying on popularity and fan votes instead of credibility and capability, these kinds of situations are hardly surprising.  I am not in any way undermining what some of our politicians can do because some of them (very few) are great lawmakers.  But the increasing number of idiots who are only in it for the money accounts to the why the country is going to the dogs.

It really doesn’t matter what you were before becoming a public servant.  You could have been a balut vendor for all I care.  But you’re serving the country now so get your acts together, morons.  Otherwise, leave the movie makers be because it’s more fun in the Philippines watching evil politicians get shot all over or blown up at the end of every Pinoy action movie.  Badass.